You and those meddling kids!

Newsletter #2 October 15 2025

Ocean glory
Moons mean nothing without me nor you

but you, you!-
pouring my teapot, stomping the ground like a wild toddler.

You won’t stop.

playing playing playing playing

protection
I throw my arm out to hold you back and you duck me, spin around, squealing,
laughter

you’re in pink,
you’re my daughter,
laughter

you’re the most precious thing in this world,
I love you.

framed prints and photos paintings available shop section 20$— all profit goes to charity. (15$~)

art this past month

photos this past month

others this past month

Bullet Points of Life - 342am wed oct 15 - roomie jus did ket therapu for the first time - fire drill woke us from sweet slumber now ben unable to return we surrender to the coming day (NO SLEEP)

Tarot(been getting mad into tarot card reading hmu if u wanna reading)

Tarot banana dolphin massacre of the forgotten year waking up and realizing that it was all a dream,and happily falling asleep once again, into the dream once more, waterfalls crushing,, your physical earthen body lain out wit another soul, your soulmate, at least you feel she might be, lying right on top of you. All points of contact

And wat if we didnt do everything we are told to do, and what if we didd? Saying yes to life but no to everyone except your own intuition. Bass victim quitting music a month ago and just dropping such a fire album no publicity stunt just real complex human emotions and relationships. Mans stays silent

— I havnt been asking my heart what i should do before every decision ive been just going off of instinct no thought whatever seems right for the most part and/but i wonder/worry if this is the path of the devil/sin, the non conscious actions, the choice to ignore those things which are difficult to face, but necessary, and not merely necessary for God's love or karmic goodness or inner peace, but COMPLETELY NECESSARY THAT THY WILL BE DONE & KINGDOM COME.

I feel as though there is this balance, and thats what ive been trying to follow. When i go deep into ram and orthodoxy i lose myself somewhat and im not sure how genuine my relationship with this reality is, this reality i believe being a perfect manifestation living breathing art of God experienced by through and within and without… my awareness stays silent, my awareness jesus on the cross, my awareness the forgiver of every sin. And although I think a lot, and get caught up, and have an ego and more than just a simple one to navigate, i do desireto be looked at a certain way, but that certain way only reflects what i feel in that momoent,, so to expect anything from anyone in the first place is ridiculous and to think that I am floating is something that i can happily leave behind. Ive learned that humility is a great virtue, and can excuse you, aid you, guide you through most of life's bumps.

Stone cold. Yes. maybe a taper. off atleast a month, hey. Enjoy this feeling, and feel the shittiness of it too, and know that things will be different than they have ever been before in my entire life even after one little month of no chemicals, not even shampoo or conditioner! Im not worried about it in regards to my creative ability, as now i see beyond this delusion my ego played so as to reinforce desire and put off being true to my Self.

To desire is to suffer, i dont want to suffer bro. With loren life is actually good, which is something else, because this summer and indoc and honestly a lot of different times throughout my life (maybe most)(i imagine its the same for everyone) have felt tilted moreso in the direction of pain and sadness, suffering, hell, chaos, — and yet these states pass, always, and arent ultimate, as true as life being heaven on earth, we are alive for Christ’s sake! we Exist! I am! – don't forget it! -1+1=0

0 is the void

The void

and

The void

And from "the void", , how?

I believe our "reality" just as real as God dimensions etc to be totally real in an iinfinite way, Oneness, non duality is Maya, the great illusion, the putting on of a dance. forgetting to remember. its all way beyond our comprehension and i dont know why ive been blessed and kissed on the forehead by God and led to him so strongly, truly saving grace, Faith.

Without faith I am nothing.

And what are other people doing to not have it? Is karma surely much deeper than being "good or bad" , I mean, just this morning I dreamt of falling out of a tree and that if I accepted the death (didnt know i was dreaming obvi) then a Pierre (Me?) in another timeline/galaxy-whatever, would survive, and go on to create more than what pierre(in our world) had to offer. And i wonder if these essences/multi realities/ infinite room for infinitely subtle magic of being are constantly flowing through us, behind every tiniest fraction of a millisecond, so that ultimately, even in fear and pain and abandonement from God, we can rationally realize that this is a self prescribed challenge, us All Being God.

Challenge brings growth, change, positive change when used correctly, and positive change seems to be the only thing worth anything in this world! No matter how small, do the dishes for your mom! Even if she fights with you!

Me this wknd(very tired, loren, failed but successful all nighter, dinner that evening, our final day together, all of us, "!Momma u need any help w the dishes or anything?" "No No No nothing" me, "THANK GOD" and we laugh, say love yous, and i go up and snuggle w loren

Good talks with ******** tonight about all sorts. His first time thera k, whichwhich is p crazy considering the amnt of substances hes done and what hes into but he liked it and took scuch a fat finale he was in it for like an hour and a half pretty fucking bast mode ive just been tinkering doing nothing but also doing the small things on my computer, wanting to write. To write about loren — how !?!?!?! 3 am ! 4 am !

Loren – shes so interesting, shes so special, she said im the best human shes ever met, i mean , its crazy to hear something like that and —-- our love slow —-- and yet fast, i mean cmon. How could it ever not be the way it is, and who couldve seen it coming. Its trust, the intuition of SUNY, the sparkle in her eye the night i met her last halloween, trusting myself cutting my chest feeling that pain, never had done that, and then facetiming her , that night! of all people, for hours, the lovers tarot, its destined, its history.

that place of authenticity that undoubtability, trust, Faith, Strength against any possibility of strife, ive yet to find the exact word. No expectations, no idea, but just, wow, this his hapening and thats honestly what i live for

Wha does shse mean to me man, idk, , but I do.

all encompassing desire to take care of her.

Sweet care.

She sees the little booy ive always been and i see the little girl she has, and we balance these, i think we might be together a long time, its really crazy, to have a real, magical, ever suprising, ever exciting partner, quite quite good, and her, her! I knew it! I knew it! But its not about me// she is an angel, and she helps me understand the complexity and variety of life experience (in general idek) amongst the world and how ppls brain works, its not like i built my mind, iive been developing what was naturally there. And this idea, this faith in god, which i have , in God, this Faith, providing me eternal life, and playing the game differently in light of that and other facts, and spreading it as good i can. Its the only way i found –i began reading a lot all different authors most non fiction freshman yr of college bc i wanted to see what is the best life?:

the most fulfilling

loving whatever,

and i just didnt find much..

Achievers are dissapointed and artists are outcasts addicts ostracized our civilizxation specificially culture is not built to suuport it whatsoever, but if i can give a glimmer of the Light that I see, then I am doing more than I could ever conceive possible.

he’s aa bit schizpphrenic-esque - worth exploring, talking to this group in his head hes named, and my painting the boo ghost, he sees it as he walks out his bedroom going down the stairs, and he says i talk to him often through it, sometimes scolding sometimes this sometimes that, but hes producing great art, GREAT art…, and if that stops i be worry but for now it is insanity it is chaos and i dont have any real fear of him commmiting suicide or nothing like dat. I really wish we all (the friends) lived in the same place, its like we chose life on difficulty and easy mode at the same time. Not easy, but, High! Idk that might be prejudiced amongst a billion others but i can assure u i come from a place of an extreme desire to continue to learn and understand throughout my whole life so please please email me if any of this touches u or anything.——

Everything do be falls into it places and despair is everywhere.

Grotesque images in my brain

in our real world

remind me of my insane priviledge which reminds me of my disgusting envy for those attributes i lack and see as higher than myself, physically envious, money, status, confidence, energy, this thought-storm immediately removing the greatfullness from my frontal, but then bringing m back to check, realziing how empty it all is, and all thats left is unconditional love. And thats ok, and im aware. comparison is the thief of joy, but love is love, and love is all, love is law, and Thy will be done.

thank you. wishing all of you well. i love october<3

I LOVE YOU!I LOVE YOU!I LOVE YOU!I LOVE YOU!I LOVE YOU!I LOVE YOU!I LOVE YOU!I LOVE YOU!I LOVE YOU!I LOVE YOU!I LOVE YOU!I LOVE YOU!I LOVE YOU!I LOVE YOU!I LOVE YOU!I LOVE YOU!I LOVE YOU!I LOVE YOU!I LOVE YOU!I LOVE YOU!I LOVE YOU!I LOVE YOU!I LOVE YOU!I LOVE YOU!I LOVE YOU!I LOVE YOU!I LOVE YOU!I LOVE YOU!I LOVE YOU!I LOVE YOU!I LOVE YOU!I LOVE YOU!I LOVE YOU!I LOVE YOU!I LOVE YOU!I LOVE YOU!I LOVE YOU!I LOVE YOU!I LOVE YOU!I LOVE YOU!I LOVE YOU!I LOVE YOU!I LOVE YOU!I LOVE YOU!I LOVE YOU!I LOVE YOU!I LOVE YOU!I LOVE YOU!I LOVE YOU!I LOVE YOU!I LOVE YOU!I LOVE YOU!I LOVE YOU!I LOVE YOU!I LOVE YOU!I LOVE YOU!I LOVE YOU!I LOVE YOU!I LOVE YOU! LLOVE!